Internet Friends?

I admittedly am a terrible friend. I'm possibly the world's worst friend, actually. That being said, it should come as no surprise that I have very few true friends. I have a ton of acquaintances, any of which could develop into wonderful friendships given the appropriate time and effort; however, I'm selfish and hoard the majority of my time for my family. I'm busy and often tired and given the chance to see a friend or spend time with my husband and children, I will almost always choose the later. Let's be clear, it isn't that I don't enjoy spending time with friends - I very, very much do - but I can't seem to get enough of those cute baby laughs. I'm addicted and can rarely turn down an opportunity to spend more time with my family. I guess this is a problem because lately Big C and I seldom have coinciding days off work leaving me with few options when I do find myself with some extra time and the desire for some adult conversation (or commiserating, depends on the day!). What is the answer to a problem I didn't even realize I had? The Bump MoMs. 


Since becoming pregnant with the boys (about 100 years ago), I've become part of a group of women with one common thread - we all have multiples. Twins, triplets, quads, adopted, spontaneous, whatever. We've all got at least one set of twins or higher order multiples. And let me tell you, in my experience, nothing creates a bond between friends faster than this particular shared lifestyle. You can't really understand the worry, stress, and joy of multiples unless you've got a set yourself. 

I stumbled onto The Bump while I was pregnant and then discovered the Multiples forum while on bedrest. The posts on this forum range from "I'm having TWINS!! SQUEEEEE!!!" to "Recommend your stroller" to "How do I get them to nap at the same time?!" and everything in between. Before my babies were born, I thought "well, I'll just figure it out as we go. Can't be that hard." HA. It was. I'm not sure what we would've done without the advice from some of the ladies I've friended from that board. They talked me down when I was near panic at the thought of 30 week preemies, and practically held my hand when I was terrified about my first outing alone with the babies. They convinced me that we really were going to live through the days of two hour feedings around-the-clock, and they were right. It's incredible how close of a friendship you can develop with someone whom you've never physically met. Meeting people can be so overrated ;)


I always thought it so strange to be friends with someone you didn't "know," but now I understand that "knowing" someone isn't the same as "seeing" someone. I see lots of people day-to-day, but I know very few of them. After being friends with the MoMs (Moms of Multiples) for so long, I've learned that I know several of them better than I know most people I've ever met in-real-life. I've shared things with them that most people don't (and will never) know about me, and I'm sure they have as well. We've come together when others were in times of need and offered support however we could. The wealth of knowledge in the group spans from the expertise of stay-at-home moms to teachers to special-effects makeup artists (ok, so there's only one of those, but you get the idea). I love the diversity of opinions and ideas the group can generate, and I'm so grateful for the times they've been there when I needed them. I'm proud to call them my friends. 

ONE

It's official. They're one year old. WOW. Let me just say - it's been the most challenging, rewarding year of my life so far (and that includes the year I moved, got engaged, graduated college, started a new job, moved again, and got married). I'm going to do a little different post this time around, because well, today is really all about them. 

L & Little C,

I can't believe you're already one year old. It's incredible to think that this time last year we met you for the first time after what felt like a lifetime of waiting to see your beautiful face. You tried to make your grand entrance more than once before the big day finally arrived, and I'm just grateful that you waited as long as you did. I can't imagine how different the last year would've been if you had been born at 27 weeks instead of 35. 

Little C - Even after stalling delivery for 8 weeks after contractions started, you were still born with trouble breathing. You also had the cord wrapped around your neck, and your face and extremities were blue. They held you by my face for about 5 seconds before you were swept off to the NICU. 

6lb 4oz 17.5" 7/14/11 9:54pm 

Granted, our NICU experience was as smooth as could be expected and there are hundreds of preemie families who aren't nearly as lucky as we were. However, let's be clear - just because it wasn't as bad as it could've been doesn't change the fact that it was still far from easy. Your dad and I were worried to death because your doctors weren't sure if your dyspnea was a routine problem or if you had a serious disease. It was terrifying. I'll never forget the first time I held you in my arms. There were tubes and wires all over the place and you couldn't be out of the warmer for very long, but it was still one of the most exciting, gratifying 5 minutes of my life. You never opened your eyes, but you snuggled your head into my chest and sighed the most content sound in the world. I was smitten.

We were addicted to you immediately. 

Your dad got to hold you the next day, and it was such a feeling of complete bliss and peace to have both of our boys together again and finally be united as a family of four. We were in the hospital until Monday, July 18 and were all discharged on the same day. I was so grateful that you did well and we got to leave the hospital as a family. That was a blessing I prayed for long before you were born and have said thanks for many times since. 

 

L - You were our 5lb 8.5oz trooper. You screamed from the minute you came out and stopped only when your dad held you for the first time. 

5lb 8.5oz 17.5" 7/14/11 9:56pm

You were smaller than I'd expected, and I couldn't believe how much you looked like my dad. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to tell a difference between you and your brother, but it was all in vain. You've never resembled each other to me or your dad. I've always thought you looked just like my baby pictures and your Papa Mitch, and your brother has always looked like a tiny version of your dad. Regardless, you were both more beautiful than I ever could've imagined. You got to meet all of your grandparents a few hours after you were born, and I'm sure you can imagine how popular you were with them! 

They couldn't take their eyes off you, and in all fairness, who could blame them?

You were snuggly from the very beginning and loved to lay on my chest and sleep. We sent you to the nursery at night so we could try to rest. Sleep was difficult to come by between routine vital checks and post surgery pain/discomfort, but we thought it would be easier to rest in the hospital than once we took you home (and we were right). Your first few days were pretty uneventful, but you did lose quite a bit of weight and only weighed 4lb 7oz when we went home. You were (and still are) the smallest baby I've ever held. It felt like holding a blanket that had been wadded up because you were always swaddled tightly and were so light that it was difficult to tell that a baby was snuggled inside all that fabric!




The first 36 hours of your lives are mostly a blur for me now, and I'm grateful to have written everything down in my pregnancy/delivery journal and to have so many pictures because I wouldn't be able to recall nearly all of the details of those first few days.


I am so amazed by how much you've both grown and changed in the last year. I'm still not sure how it happened, though, because I've seen you every single day of your lives and never did I think "They look different today." I just can't believe that you grew from such tiny, helpless infants into these independent toddlers right in front of me.

From tiny, swaddled newborns...

...To opinionated, independent toddlers!

Your dad and I have been beyond blessed, and I can't believe we are the lucky two who get to be your parents. We love you so much more than any words can convey, and I now understand why my parents said I would get it when I had kids of my own. Honestly, the only way to understand the magnitude of a love like this is to experience it for yourself. It can't be explained or reasoned or understood. It must be felt first-hand before you can truly appreciate it. One day, a long, long time from now, you'll both know exactly what I mean. 

It's been so much fun to watch you reach milestone after milestone and soak up everything around you like a sponge. You're learning so much every single day, and I hope I'm teaching you well. This has been the most incredible year, and I can't wait (except that I absolutely can - please don't grow up faster than you have to!) to see how different each of you are in another 365 days.



I love you both so, so much,
Mom

Real talk.

Truth. 

I'm not usually one for politics, but this was too perfect. 

July. Holy mess.

Not sure if anyone else has noticed or not, but it's officially July. Holy mess. I'm sure this is just another month for most people, but for me, it means that it's only 12 (TWELVE!!) days until the boys' first birthday. How has this happened already?! There were so many things I wanted to get done before their first birthday... For example, I wanted to have the boys' first year photo album close to finished. (That's going to be particularly difficult considering the fact that I haven't even STARTED on them yet.) It's baffling how fast 50 weeks have gone by. I can't even explain how stunning it is. It's like I've seen a unicorn dance across a rainbow to steal a Leprechaun's pot of gold. Ridiculous, I know, but it's still happening. 


Am I going to be able to get everything together before the big 1 party? We'll see... I need to order a cake, grocery shop for party food, send invitations, and 100 other things that I've been putting off because it just makes it all too real. Unfortunately, I've learned that time blazes past whether you're ready for it to or not, and I'm trying to enjoy the present rather than be sad that so much has already passed. Although, I would kill for a little time-in-a-bottle right now so I could savor these last few days of baby-hood a little bit longer before they become toddlers. 


And of course, a picture for your viewing pleasure...

L & Little C sporting their Old Navy big-boy polos!